Kamote_ako

UnOfficially Us

2012-01-15T15:45:00.001-04:00

Hindi ako makaisip ng magandang title sa blog na eto..masasabi ko lang is I am happy yet thinking how a relationship with no-official status would work for both of us.. We're like clear with each other that were over but our actions says otherwise.

Gulo lang namin..On my part i'm scared..traumatized..I have a bad habit when it comes to relationship so either I will mess up again or he will leave me for another partner.

For now I enjoy every moment with this person...whatever kind of relationship we have and who knows i'm not closing my door for you. I am glad that you are there for me through good times and bad times.. 86

I am happy kasama kita today.. ;)

posted from Bloggeroid

Fit To Work

2012-01-09T10:16:00.000-04:00

It's been 5 days since I was sent home by our resident doctor for Asthma and Pneumonia (daw! daw because there were no test done to clinically conclude that I have one except from the wheezing sound I make when breathing in and out which is a normal case for Asthmatic patients.) Though this was not the first time that I got sick of Asthma and Pneumonia at the same time, I find it weird that I was diagnosed of something without using any medical equipments like X-Ray etc. Anyhow, she's the doctor i'm the patient, who am I to question her..so I followed her instructions, It was quite embarrasing though because I had to wear face mask inside the office while doing my endorsements to my colleagues, worst part was that people around me were like staring and thinking what-on-earth-is-wrong-with-him?!

It's my off and I want to go back to work ASAP so I decided to pay Medical City @ SM Manila a visit in the middle of the Feast of Nazareno. To my dismay, they don't carry my HMO just yet, so I had to trouble myself by going to another Out-Patient clinic, this time in Aventus, UN Avenue. The place looks nice, I loved the chair, didn't wait that long. So there was the doctor, when I told her about my case, she couldn't give me any clearance, she said it would be best for me to see a pulmo, so she asked me to return this Wednesday, told her I can't do that I have work on that day. Without conducting any test they actually billed my HMO and referred me to another doctor in Manila Doctors. Epic Fail!

I'm feeling a bit tired and disappointed because all I need is a Fit-To-Work order, that's all i'm asking.
I think if I went to Top Health (which I don't recommend for many reasons..) and paid the Med Cert I wouldn't go through this dilemma of travelling from one clinic to another. But then again, I would want to be check by the doctor, I want to know if i'm really FTW so I decided to give it another shot hoping and praying that I will get a quality..world class check up from the doctor referred to me.

So there I was with no sense of direction..you know I actually thought I had one...still I got lost! When I found the clinic room I had to wait in line, i'm number 25.. and the doctor is now attending patient number 11. Alrayt!! Good job to me! Waiting Galore eto.. lol... So there I was..waiting.. I waited patiently.. I was able to watch an episode of Angelito: Ang Batang Ama. pogi ni JM De Guzman. lol.

Going back to my patience-is-a-virtue thing.. After 2 hours of patiently waiting my name was finally called by the assistant. I am really hoping that I get what I deserve! Hirap mag antay ng 2 oras kaya. Dr. Cu was actually good, good looking old man..well not that old.. maybe he's in his 40's..hahaha with good accent, hahaha, I was observing him when he was giving instructions, he's not like the other doctors that will just give you a prescription and not tell you what the med is for. I was asking for some prescription for my Asthma like Steroids and some Vitamins but he said I don't need any of those. I already have my Symbicort, that is already a steroid for my asthma he said, I just have to continue taking it, and the vitamins, he even mocked me for believing those TV Ads about Stress stabs. All I need daw is a good rest.. ok.. Good rest.. Good Luck to me!

What I loved the most was the part where he thought me how to know if the click is the on or off on my Turbohaler. Hehehe.. I am so stupid, I know, i've been using the Symbicort for the longest time and until know I don't know which one is the on or off. Well It's hard to tell really. Overall, no regrets, it was worth the wait. Sabi ni Doc, from the looks of it, i'm fit to work though I have to continue my medications for the next 5 days which I will. Looking forward to my next visit 2 weeks from now.

BTW, I asked him, doc, Can I drink beer again? -- Not just yet! hahaha.. sayang!!

#Now Playing: Greenday

2012-01-06T08:20:00.000-04:00

#nowplaying: Boulevard Of Broken Dreams #Greenday

"My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone..."

My Side Trips This 2012

2012-01-06T08:08:00.000-04:00

Since I have established that I am better off alone instead of dwelling on the not so good part of walking alone might as well plan and make this 2012 an extreme year for me!!

Here are my Side Trips that I will make sure to execute this 2012:

1. Bungee Jumping (Danao Bohol)

2. Sky Walk Adventure + Edge Coasters

3. White Water Rafting CDO

4. Dahilayan Adventure Zipline

5. Caramoan Trip

6. Palawan Trip

Excited na ako!! Ok lang kahit mag-isa! Ok eto, i'm excited!! Hindi pa eto extreme..this is just the first round.. I will make sure to make 2012 an extreme year for me! I will work harder and play it harder!!

Up

2012-01-02T12:21:00.002-04:00

#nowplaying: James Morrison feat. Jessie J: UP

Who You Are?

2012-01-02T12:13:00.000-04:00

#Nowplaying Jessie J -- Who You Are

Admission

2012-01-02T11:49:00.001-04:00

Ngaun ko kailangan ng kaibigan...

#Now Playing: Someone Like You

2012-01-02T11:37:00.000-04:00

Trip ko lang magpaka senti.. Don't ask why...I have issues..personal issues...let's just put it this way i'm going through some crisis..emotional crisis..that only I can fix..2 failed relationships in 1 year..alright..good job to me! hahaha.. Happiness is a mental state..stay focused! Kaya ko eto!!

2012: What's In It For Me?

2012-01-02T11:24:00.000-04:00

2012 na....January 2, to be exact...Last December 31st nag decide kami na tapusin ang 5 months relationship namin..malungkot pero kailangan "daw".. ako ang may problema obviously.. hindi ako committed sa relationship..mahal ko sya kung sa mahal hindi nga lang ako consistent at nasasaktan ko sya..ngaun 2 days after naming maghiwalay malungkot ako..habang umiinom ako magisa sa Panulukan 1 puro songs about Missing You and Breaking Up ung pinapatugtog..napaluha na lang ako.. Gago kc ako. 2012 na. What's in it for me? Anu ba nagaantay sa akin this 2012? I'm hoping for the best and worst...sana more best..hindi naman perfect ang life so I should expect for not so best..I miss you alam mo ba un. I know you're reading my blogs.I miss you. Tinamaan ako sa lahat ng mga text mo, mga messages mo at advise mo about me not being committed..I miss your kiss..I Love You still.. 85

Same Old Me

2011-12-24T00:46:00.001-04:00

It's Christmas Eve and a lot of things happened during the last 5 months.. My relationship with Bear is over and I am now in another relationship but did I really learn from my previous relationship? Did I corrected myself from my glaring lapses that brought pain to bear.. Did I really corrected myself?

I don't think so.. I am still the same person.. Hindi ko masagot eh, naguguluhan ako.. I need time.. I need a breather.. I am cheating emotionally.. I don't know...I lie? I still do.. I don't deserve your love.. tama ka.. I am too imperfect for you.. and you are too perfect for me..

Merry Xmas...

#nowplaying Someone Like You

Pre_tense

2011-06-09T08:12:00.001-04:00

I'm going to smile like nothings wrong, talk like everythings perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend it's not hurting me.

I just can't let go...

2011-06-09T03:28:00.001-04:00

He was trying to make a conversation but I shut him off...what's the point? I am headed to a dead route so why bother?

Ok na eto next month tutuloy ko na plano ko...Hindi ako galit trust me i'm ok cguro this is my Karma.. Bad karma for the 4 years that I have hurt bears feelings..

Now i'm crying.. Not even sure if because of you or because of bear.. All I know I is I love You malas lang straight ka at may GF ako I am in a relationship and hindi ka pumapatol at ikakasal ka na... End of story.

Maybe sa ibang panahon..pero hindi ngaun.. #Ladygaga

Lomi at Ako

2011-06-09T02:38:00.001-04:00

Just got home and since nagdouble shift na lng din naman ako naisipan ko maglakad mula sa opisina at hinayaan ko mga paa ko dalhin ako kung saan ako dadalhin... lungkot nga lang kc hbng naglalakad ako iniisip ko sya kung panu ko sya iniwasan hbng kinakausap nya ako at kung paanu ko gustong gusto makipagusap usap lng at marinig lng kung pano sya magsalita at tumingin kaso iniwasan ko..d k alam kung swerte hbng naglalakad ako at naka repeat mode ang Ipod ko sa kantang How Can I Fall nakita ko sya kumakain sa karenderia patayo na para magbayad!!

Lalapitan k b at kakausapin? Hindi ayoko isipin nya na sinusundan ko sya.. Kaya gnawa ko dumiretso lng ako ng lakad hbng patayo sya at nagbabayad dumiretso ako hinayaan ko lng sya kung mapapansin nya ako.. Tutal gutom na din naman ako pumasok ako sa isang medyo maayos na chinese karenderia at umorder ng lomi..ang totoo kahit masakit tyan ko sa gutom wala ako balak kumain na at sa bahay n lng sana,..tsaka isang daang piso n lng dala ko pera baka kulangin ako.Bahala na inorder ko ung P30 na special lomi.. Tagal ng order ko..pero ang totoo hinaantay kp na dumaan sya dun at pansinin ako at kausapin..

Lumipas ang 5 minuto dumating na ang lomi ko pero wala pa din sya..naka 5 beses na ako naka repeat mode sa kantang How Can I Fall wala pa ding dumadaan para kausapin ako..

Lau ng iniisip ko..nakain ko na lahat ang lomi wala pa din..eto na ba ung cnasabi nilang heart broken?

Great Android app 'Spare Parts'

2011-06-08T01:41:00.001-04:00

I found this great Android app 'Spare Parts' on AppBrain: http://www.appbrain.com/app/com.androidapps.spare_parts

The app is a big help for my apps that will not fit my Galaxy Tab screen!

Here are the steps:

1. Install Spareparts app ( Android/Appbrain Market)
2. Open the app and scroll down look for COMPATIBILITY and put a check mark on the box next to it.
3. Power Off your galaxy tab
4. Turn it ON
5. Open the app again and UNCHECK the COMPATIBILITY TAB.
6. Power it off and turn it back on
7. Try your apps now and Enjoy!! :-P

Source: http://binarysauce.wordpress.com/2011/01/17/make-apps-go-full-screen-on-the-galaxy-tab/

Euphoria

2011-05-30T18:27:00.001-04:00

I am just going through a pace and I know this will pass.. When? that I don't know.. I did not see the person today at work.. and I miss the person..

Can you really be in love with someone you have yet to meet personally? Infatuation.. I hope this is just infatuation..

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

-Ghandi-

Infatuation

2011-05-30T18:18:00.001-04:00

I can't fight this feeling anymore....

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

-Ghandi-

#RM

2011-05-27T01:28:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I felt this strong attraction to someone...and yes i'm cheating some1 emotionally. This is very refreshing marunong pa pala ako magmahal. Hahaha

Cguro hindi ngaun #RM..

Madness

2011-05-26T18:08:00.001-04:00

I don't stand a chance to that person so why the hell am I hoping for a miracle.

This is madness and I have to stop this before I hurt myself and the person I am involved with..

I guess I don't stand a chance to you #RM huh..

Madness..

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

-Ghandi-

Windows Phone 7 music app for Android (Download)

2011-05-21T05:27:00.001-04:00

RE-blogging this great read and app I read in Pulse! Some guy decided to clone the WP7's music player for Android!

I decided to install the app and tried it in my SGT and guess what it works perfect!

Attached is the screenshot of the app installed in my SGT.

Below is the article, enjoy! ;-)

LauncherPro's developer working on Windows Phone 7 music app for Android (Download)
ANDROID AND ME | MAY 20, 2011
http://pulsene.ws/1G1e5

While the platform might not be doing too well with consumers, Windows Phone 7 does have something going for it — and ... read more

---

http://www.pulsene.ws

My Homescreen

2011-05-08T08:35:00.001-04:00

I love my Galaxy Tab so much that when i'm at home I only stay inside my room and play with my tab!

Well just like now! I'm supposed to be resting because it's my rest day but i'm not because i'm busy with my SGT!

Here is my homescreen:

posted from Bloggeroid

Freewill

2011-04-23T21:34:00.001-04:00

Dear Mom, Please don't make me do things that is against my freewill....

Posted via Blogaway

Life Changing Coaching

2011-04-19T07:15:00.001-04:00

I guess I don' t know if i'm being arrogant for not accepting the opportunity to work with my former boss, Am I?

I hope he understands where I am coming from. I have yet to see my progress in my current project and I want to see the fruits of my labor myself.

I have bigger plans for the project and I have set my mind for this project for the entire year. I owe him a lot like big time! Whatever skills I have I owe it all to him and I will always be grateful to him for that... This is not me saying bull shit or bull crap but when you get to work with him it's really a pleasure. Not everyone is given that opportunity to work with him and not everyone gets to have that chance to work with him.

I remember Brian H. saying "you have to teach them how to fish..."

Appreciate all the things you thought me about leadership and coaching. Thanks boss for the life changing coaching! :-)

Posted via Blogaway

Posted via Blogaway

My Android App: PULSE NEWS

2011-04-16T10:24:00.001-04:00

As promised to myself I will keep my blog alive by writing at least 1 app installed using my Galaxy Tab.

My app for today would be the PULSE. This is a great news reader. There are many news reader in the Android Market today but PULSE stands out from the crowd!

I fell in love with the app when I first installed it in my iPod touch so I made sure that I have it installed in my SGT. I am a visual person and one thing I noticed when I browse to different blogsites is that I look at the image on the article first before I start reading them. Not sure why but that helps me better understand what i'm reading and PULSE does a very good job in providing that enticing layout and images.

I personally think that it's the perfect app because of it's great features like:

Browse and Read: Even when your reading it gives you the option to browse to other articles. Not to mention the cool layout and UI it has.

Spread the news: Just hit the F or T icon and in seconds your status is updated. You don't have to copy and paste a link to your Facebook or Twitter account. hassle free!

Personalization: One of the things I hate the most are clutters that's why I make sure that even in my apps i'm organized and that's where PULSE is good at. The app let's you customize your pages based on categories like Technology, Music,Lifestyle, Business and even facebook updates! LoL

There are other great features like Importing, Syncing of articles from Google reader feeds.

To know more about PULSE visit your Android Market or go here and install it for free!!

Posted via Blogaway

Posted via Blogaway

SGT Experience

2011-04-14T00:24:00.001-04:00

This is day 4 of my GT experience and I have no regrets since I bought the device. My only trouble was the thought of wether i'm spending the money wisely.

Enough with the regrets. It was just a temporary regret and i'm back to my old self this time i'm more inspired at work because I can now focus on my longterm goals.

I love my toy and i'm enjoying the features and apps that i'm getting in the Android Market!

I want to maximize my GT to it's full potential so my goal is everyday I should blog at least 1 app or feature.
B-)

Ty to my God father for making this all possible

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Zune Reinvented

2011-03-15T03:44:00.000-04:00

I guess Zune isn't really dead after all! Go see for yourself!! We Love Windows Phone 7!!

Microsoft has killed the ZUNE

2011-03-15T02:44:00.001-04:00

After reading a tweet from @gadgetlab "Report: Microsoft has killed the Zune here". I did not think twice of reading the article and was quite surprise about Microsoft's decision to cease production of it's Zune PMP and just focus on it's Software integration with the Smartphones.

The gadget didn't even reach my country! I mean yes we have the black market selling that but it's different if it's official and legal.

Personally, I think ZUNE is greater than Ipod in so many ways and yeah the device may have some flaws in it but that's something that Microsoft can work on and you can't deny that the Radio Tuner and the Wi-FI Synching is really a great feature that Ipod does not have up to this time.

So what went wrong? Zune was a little too late in terms of beating the market share. The advertising of the gadget was very poor that up to the last minute if i’m not mistaken the gadget was only available to US Only and Canada.

Microsoft should have listened to it's users feedback. They should have invested in Marketing..They should have invested in Advertising. They should have inform the consumers that Ipod isn't the only portable media player in this world there is ZUNE. They should have inform the consumers that they can be different and that they have other options.

It’s just sad that PMP is dominated by Ipod. I am so sick of seeing the same old piece of gadget. I think if there’s one PMP who will and can beat them given the right attention and marketing strategy it’s no less than the ZUNE.

For now the Zune Software will be integrated to it's smart phones and i'm looking forward in buying the Nokia WP7 but it will not be available until 2012. Wow! Ang tagal ng aantayin ko ah!

Need or Want?

2011-03-14T03:27:00.000-04:00

Tell me, have you ever tried getting a loan to meet your material demands? Reason i'm asking is because I am in a state of confusion on whether I should apply for a loan to get the gadget that i've been dying to have since day 1.

Yes, I am not gonna pretend that I can afford it. I cannot. I am working but I am the provider in the family. Do you think it's a good move if I just get a loan for that gadget and pay it off every month? Well I did the math and the total amount that I will owe to this company if I push through would be twice the amount of the gadget. Is it a rip-off or just fair enough?

I consulted bear and he didn't want me to push through with the deal. The interest is just too much according to him. So should I listen to bear? Well, my instincts tells me not to but maybe i'm wrong.

Do I really need this gadget? Maybe... Well not really. Ok! Ok! I don't need the gadget.

I just want the gadget because I want to try using another gadget aside from the gadgets that I have.

Come on! Bawal ba?!....

While i'm writing this blog I realized that I think I can afford the gadget without getting a loan. I just have to manage my finances by making sure that I don't spend much ( My office is just 10 minutes from where I live ) and probably take advantage of the unlimited overtime that the company is offering. If I do that i'm sure in a few months i'll be able to buy that gadget!

I think I know where to go from here! I'll keep you posted! ^-^

One Hell Of A Ride @ 27

2011-03-10T07:32:00.000-04:00

It was one hell of a ride 27 years. Things have been said and done by me and even if I want to regret things it will now be a thing of the past. I have learned a great deal, the learning process was not easy, failures poured in from all aspects of my life.. family..work..to my relationship with bear.

I'm sorry to the people that got hurt by the decisions I have made in the past. I never meant to hurt you..especially bear. I guess this is the best time to say Thank you to all the people I have work with both physically (hehehe) and professionally. I have learned as much you learned!

But I have no regrets, for those decisions were made by me and decided by me and that's what's important. I'm living my life to the fullest!

I'm being emotional again. lol. I'm saying goodbye to another year. I posted in my tweet today: "Crazy but I'm sad, I survived another year and in 5.5 hours I will say goodbye to 27. It was one hell of a ride Brian Quim!!"

Indeed, i'm living a crazy life! Live on Brian Quim! I'm closing another year of my life and yes I am sad with goodbyes but I am looking forward to another year of adventure and meaningful life.

Happy Birthday Kamote_ako ;)

Happy Valentines Day

2011-02-14T00:23:00.000-04:00

Last February 8 we celebrated our 4th year anniversary. This kind of anniversary should be extra special to both of us emotionally and physically but I guess we were not as excited as we were 3 years ago.

We tried to sort things out and repair whatever damage we have in the relationship but we're not sure if things will be the same as it was. It's all my fault. I know i'm the one to be blamed.

Minsan iniisip ko kaya ko ba na wala si bear..natatakot ako, sanay na ako na nandyan siya at alam kong ganun din ang nararamdaman nya.

Happy Valentines Day Bear,

Piolo...

2011-01-30T05:10:00.002-04:00

I don't normally blog about showbiz gossip but I just have to do it now!! We (me and my sister) were tuned in to The Buzz were Piolo Pascual was interviewed by Charlene G. I just thought he's gonna deny or segway to another issue but to my surprise he finally revealed that he and Princess KC are in a relationship!! Hayz!! I guess no more Piolo Pascual for $@!!

(sigh) Congrats KC!! Hehehe

Good Bye 2010!!!

2010-12-31T00:33:00.000-04:00

It was a colorful year 2010! Thank you for the black's and the white's.. For the blue's and gray's.

It was great journey indeed and I look forward to a 'great adventure' 2011!!!

Mom

2010-11-25T02:09:00.002-04:00

There was a heavy downpour and like any other downpours we experienced in the past we never expected that this will end up in a tragic way. My mom and I were in a hurry to get out of the house and move to an elevated place but the surging of water was too fast for my mom. I was holding her hands tightly but the water was too strong for the both of us. I just realized that she's no longer with me. I tried to save her but it was too late. She's gone.

I didn't want to cry in front of my sisters because I know they need their kuya to be strong at this point in time. So I held back my tears and showed no emotions but deep inside my heart is crying out loud. I love my mom so much.

I only had two hours of sleep. I thought it was real. When I woke up I realized that I was already crying and my heart literally was aching. I realized a lot of things after that bad dream.

I was still crying when I woke up because I never had the chance to say how much I love her..that we love her. I would have gone out of bed and hug her but she's in Cagayan De Oro at this time so I quickly grabbed my phone and texted her about my dream and told her how much I love her..how much we love her..

I will never take her for granted after this. I love you mom!!

Puzzled

2010-11-20T22:22:00.000-04:00

It's been forever since I last stared at someone of my opposite sex. I normally get attached to PLU but this time it's different.

I'm in a state of fear not just for my family but for her. I don't want to disappoint her but this is who I am. Can she live with it? Will she accept me for who I am?

I'm not getting any younger and I am very much open to the idea of having a family of my own. But how about Bear?

Not now! Not now! I can't be involved with both sexes at the same time.

I texted her last night.. "I will never be the perfect guy for you. You deserve someone better than me.."

I got a response: "I'm puzzled. What's going on?"

I wish I can say it straight to her face. Will she accept me? I don't know.

Coming Zune..

2010-10-25T05:38:00.000-04:00

I'm getting this one very Zune..

IMORTAL TRAILER

2010-09-08T03:12:00.000-04:00

Club Can't Handle Me

2010-09-08T02:55:00.000-04:00

My favorite video even though I have yet to see the movie Step Up 3D. I bet it's not going to be a waste of time and money if I watch the movie. I just hope it's still showing in Manila Theaters.

Tired

2010-08-13T05:03:00.001-04:00

It's already 5:15PM and i'm still at work! I'm tired and sleepy. It's my RD anyway but i'm really tired.

Hope I get a good night sleep once I get home.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

-Ghandi-

Big Deal?

2010-08-06T08:08:00.002-04:00

I texted bear yesterday asking him if being a TL OIC is a big deal. Bear replied with "Oo naman, hindi binibigay un sa kung sino.. It left me wondering, should I make this a big deal or just do what is expected of me.

I am honored that I was chosen to handle a team and I am very much excited with the task. I won't deny that i'm still at loss with the admin work of a Team Lead, given enough time (which I don't have) and practice and patience (This I have!) I will get the hang of it.

I'm on my 2nd day of shadowing. I'm learning the process slowly but surely. Admin is important but what's crucial is managing the people i'll be handling. I hope I become a good leader to them. I hope I can make a difference in their career and in their life like how my former TL's Karlo Legasto and Arlene Doplon changed my life.

Even though this is an TL-OIC task this will be milestone for me. Tomorrow is my 3rd day of training and wish me luck!

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

-Ghandi-

The It

2010-07-30T10:35:00.002-04:00

I didn't felt the thrill but then again looking on the bright side I was able to help.

Yes Brian you were able to share your little blessings.

Sometimes it's not the "it" that matters but the "it" it gave you.

Whatever that means. ;)

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

-Ghandi-

Nokia C3

2010-07-26T06:51:00.000-04:00

I'm thinking of buying a new phone before Christmas so I can maximize my moolah wisely. There's just so many options to choose from. I'll start with this great review I read here about this cheap phone from Nokia- The Nokia C3.

Features:

Quad-band GSM/EDGE

WiFi 802.11b/g

2.4″ 256K-color QVGA display
2 megapixel fixed-focus camera
QVGA video recording at 15fps
Series 40 UI, 6th edition
FM Radio with RDS
Bluetooth 2.0 with A2DP
microSD card slot (8GB supported, 2GB included)

I can't really give a good review on this one but I must say that it's WiFi feature really caught my attention. The price of Php7,290 is really a cheap one for this entry level QWERTY phone.

I'm going to check with the retailers in the metro and if the price is the same or at least close to that. I might consider getting this new phone for myself.

Pro:

I like it's WiFi capability!! I like surfing the net all the time and with my cheap router at home, I won't have to go down and bring my netbook with me.

Cons:

2 Mega pixel camera is not really an attractive way of capturing someone's images. I don't really use my phone to take pictures of myself but when the situation calls say Angel Locsin is in the neighborhood. Using this camera will not really register a good image of her Goddess face.

Source is here.

Gadgets

2010-07-26T06:11:00.002-04:00

I just want a simple and a not so complicated life. But with the fast paced life today I doubt if one can still live a simple and quite life.

God help me, please guide me to make the most of what I have and not look for the things I can't afford to have for now.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

-Ghandi-

India Aims to Supply Students With $35 Tablet Computers

2010-07-26T02:47:00.000-04:00

I wish the Philippine government will place a budget aiming to provide each students a cheap tablet PC that they can use for their studies.

I don't think it's going to happen yet but I am looking forward to it.

You can do it P-Noy!

India Aims to Supply Students With $35 Tablet Computers

Second Best

2010-07-10T05:40:00.000-04:00

I must admit that being the second best hurts me but I guess instead of being bitter about it I need to pull up myself and If this would mean that I need to do more of what I have been doing for the last two years to show them what I am capable of then let's get it started!!

I am happy (yeah, yeah! Go ahead Brian make yourself believe!! hahaha)

Look at the bright side, I may not be the best for them but definitely I am the best for the other them!! =D

What's important is i'm helping the people and i'm helping the site.

Kidding aside, I am very much happy with what I am doing and I guess I need to learn more from what life is offering each passing day.

Good things come to those who wait!!

Off to bed!!!

Show Me..

2010-07-08T07:28:00.002-04:00

I need a sign.. Please..Show Me..

Get Me A Fuckin' Life

2010-07-02T05:25:00.000-04:00

I have this coworker and let's call him John Lloyd Cruz since he's a die hard fan of the actor LoLx.

Going back, he always tries to piss me off whenever there's an opportunity, which is fine i'm a good sport anyway so his "jokes" doesn't really hit me at all--It just make me cry out loud.

But earlier today while I was doing my task JL's joke "Get-A-Life Brian!!!" just kept on playing in my mind like an LSS.

Honestly the "LSS" triggered me to question myself: "Don't I Have A Life?"

Don't get me wrong I am not upset with John Lloyd. He's one of the coolest and nicest person I know in our team but I guess I just needed to hear the HARD-TRUTH from his joke.

With how things are going
with my supposed "relationship" with bear who will not be sad-faced.

Was it my conscience bugging me?
I know I was never a perfect mate for bear and I know that bear does not deserve to be with someone like me.

Yes I need a life I know, but is it gonna be a life full of deception and hatred? Or a life where we both are happy and contented?

Gail said the problem is NOT bear but ME! For now I will keep (kill) myself preoccupied with my work..work..and work until I get the answers to my questions.

Off to bed night!

My App

2010-06-29T19:56:00.001-04:00

Test mike test?? I Installed an app last night called Blogpress using Installous.

The price of the app in App Store is $2.99 but I got mine for free! =]

Best things in life are indeed free!

Ciao!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Location:@ home

Imbyernang Biyernes!

2010-06-04T05:44:00.001-04:00

It was a long week and long day for me! I can't say much of what happened at work, all I can say is that

"If and when the time comes I become a leader, I will make sure to take full accountability of my subordinate instead of pointing fingers on whose to blame. Because a good leader is someone who is willing to embrace and someone who is willing to correct what is wrong and do what is right. It's not about who did it but the actions you are doing to correct the problem."

Today was my last day @ work for this week and I must say when it rains it really does pour! I have to say that this experience thought me one thing about managing my EQ. I admit that my EQ is 99.9% and the people around me feels it. And today my EQ was tested and if this was an assessment for another position that required a composed outlook I will flunk and that is for sure!

Things have been said and done today and I can't undo what I said nor can that person undo what he did.

My Tl was right during our coaching session; Don't let your emotions get into you. Think of your actions first before making a move.

What I will need to work on after today is to maintain my composure especially at times when my EQ is tested. "I am not expected to LOVE all the people I work with but I am expected to be profession when dealing with them.."

Which I am and I was. I swear i'm tired, my head is aching so bad as I am writing this blog and I need to rest and de-stress myself or else I might end up hating the world--After today I should be myself again..

I just need to escape this Imbyernang Biyernes!

My Voting Experience

2010-05-09T23:53:00.000-04:00

After almost 2 hours of waiting for our turn--we're officially part of Philippines first ever automated election. And we're so damn proud of this big step towards progress. The long wait add to that the underarm perspiration that I had to endure because of the crowded and warm place was worth the experience!

While waiting for our queue I decided to borrow my sisters camera phone and took a couple of snap shots of the place and the faces who participated in this very important event in Philippine history.

Enjoy...

(What a crowded place! Those on the right sitting have their numbers already and just waiting to be called inside where they can vote. While the ones standing are waiting for a card with numbers that will be given to them by the poll watcher.)

(KB (the one one the left) looks like a retard! Lolz! While MK (in the middle) was like clueless that I was taking a snap shot. We're all first timers here but not obvious because unlike the people around us we were enjoying every moment of this special event in our history!)

(Yes! That's Me, participating in changing our history!!)

(Another picture trip with my 2 sisters!)

(Yep, that's me!)

(Food stub owners number 16 and 17 are starving!! What's taking them sometime to give the food..hahaha)

(While food stub number 18 looks like ewan, hehehe)

(Uy aga ni ermat sa pila ah...hehehe)

(The Family That Votes Together Stays Together!)

Overall, it was a great experience for all of us. We pray that the next president will set aside his personal interest and help us in changing the course of our history. The future of this country lies not just to our leaders but to each one of us.

We must be the change that we want to see in others.

God Bless the Philippines!

Why I will not vote for Manny Villar

2010-05-09T04:39:00.001-04:00

Do I have to tell you why he will not be the next president of the Philippines?

Imbicile U

2010-04-15T00:20:00.000-04:00

Patience, patience Brian... Good things come to those who wait.. That's what I tell my self consciously while reading the message.. Count your blessings.. There's a lot of things that you need to thank God so just ignore the imbicile. Hahaha. Sorry Lord, can't help myself..

May araw ka din..

My Theme Song: If We Ever Meet Again

2010-03-15T03:59:00.000-04:00

It's the 4th day BD and what's up with your mom, with bear, with the people around you, what's up with them?? Don't complain BD, don't complain, don't stress yourself.. You need something that will keep your ears pre-occupied with all the pressures around you.

Good thing there's the music of Timbaland ft Katy Perry: "If we ever meet again.." nice song, nice lyrics..perfect theme song huh! =D

4th day of your new year BD you can do it!
My phone is now on auto-repeat mode for this tune..

"i'll never be the same..if we ever meet again.."

What is someone like you doin in a place like this?
Say Did you come alone or did you bring all your friends?
Say whats your name , What are you drinking
Think I know what are you thinking
Baby whats your sign tell me yours and ill tell you mine
Say Whats somebody like you doin in a place like this

Ill never be the same if we ever meet again
Whooooon't let you get awaaay
Say if we ever meet again,
This free-falls, got mee sooo, kiss me all,
Night, Don't ever let me go
Ill never be the same if we ever meet again

Do you come here much? I swear ive seen your face before.
Hope You don't see me flash but I cant help but want you more, more
Baby tel me whats your story I aint shy don't you worry
Im flirtin' with my eyes, I wanna leave with you tonight.
Do you come here much? ive gotta see your face some more
(some more caause baby i)

I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away-ay - say, if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night, don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same

Ciao!

Damn, I'll be 27

2010-03-07T17:49:00.001-04:00

Growing old is never that easy and for some they either face it or deny it. And i'm no exception. Yes i'm turning 27 in 3 days and before I close this chapter of my life and open a new one I have questions that I need to answer for my very own satisfaction.

~Where am I right now?

I'm happy with where I am now but I still have matters that I need to settle especially for my family. I'm the bread winner and the pressure and expectation is just too much that failures is not an option. Financially i'm not yet settled I admit but the challenges i've gone through thought me a lesson about money and investing for the future. Though I haven't put them into action yet. Not just YET.

~ Did I make the right choices?

I've made ugly choices in my life looking back to my 26 years, so ugly that I never wanna go back to that life ever again. There's a big difference of going back and looking back let me clear that. Whatever happened to me in the past I will always look back to remind me of my humble beginnings but I have no plans of ever going back to that life again.

~ Is Bear the one?

We celebrated our 3rd year anniversary last Feb. 8th and he is still very much in love with me. I think this question I will skip. Yes, I don't like this kind of questions because I don't know how to deal with it. I'd rather talk about Ally Mcbeal and her eccentricities but I know sooner or later it's gonna kick in so why not deal now. I can't..I'm emotionally void..history..whatever..

~ Am I happy with where I am?

I'm thankful for all the things that happened to me in my family, in my emotional relationship and most especially in my job. I need to live life but at the same time grow up, right MCS Elma? (smiling)

Grow Up Brian..Grow Up..

~ What is my plan?

I have a plan but I will not disclose it here. =D

~ Do I need to plan or let nature take its course?

Let nature take its course but of course make sure I live life to the fullest without compromising my goals for my family, myself, my love and for my future.

To sum it up the 26 years of my life has been a roller coaster and I am so proud that I came this far. I have a feeling that I will be on a roller coaster on this new chapter of my life and this time it's gonna be bigger and brighter.

I very much admit of the flaws that I need to work on I am fully aware of all those areas and looking forward to see the same me..Only Better.

Thank you God, you never fail to amaze me. I have forsaken you so many times and yet I still feel your undying love and support...Thank You.

Damn, i'll be 27 in 3 days!! Happy Birthday BD!

Girls of the Playboy Mansion

2010-02-12T05:54:00.001-04:00

While I was doing my launder I got bored so I decided to flip through the channels and ETC caught my attention with their syndicated rerun program Girls of the Playboy Mansion were it featured the finalist that Hugh Hefner chose as Playmate for the 55th Anniversary of the Mag.

Is this a sign? hahaha.. I don't know, but when I saw the 3 finalists posed for their shoot... Wowowee, I was stunned! Don't get me wrong but I don't feel the "L" word yet. Among the 3 finalist Crystal McCahill who posed with Holly’s “cute car,” a cherry red Corvette convertible really struck me the most! I don't know if it's the Corvette that struck me or her posed on that car..it was damn good!!!

Watching the Girls of the Playboy Mansion reminded me of Tetchie Agbayani who posed for Playboy Germany back in 1982.

Sources: Tetchie Agbayani
Crystal McCahill
Corvette

Happy Hearts

2010-02-10T04:37:00.000-04:00

Show your love to your "bear" this Valentines Day!

Happy hearts bloggers!

Source

UHAW NA AKO!

2010-02-06T10:16:00.001-04:00

It's my RD and i'm thirst..

Care for a drink?

source

Maybe..

2010-02-06T09:11:00.001-04:00

Why do I feel like i'm not whole as a person.

Is this just a confusion?

Am I still going through a phase of knowing who I really am or this is a realization of a wasted 26 years of my life.

I'm beginning to realize that my commitment span is no more than 4 years.

On the 2nd and 3rd year of the relationship that's when I start to become rocky and on or before the 4th year I turn my back to the other person as if a relationship never existed.

I wish I was lying and making up this story for the sake of blogging crap and all that but i'm not.

Maybe I need to see a shrink and have myself check, maybe I can ask him why I have trust issues, maybe I can ask him why I have commitment issues, maybe I can ask him why my father left us for another family and maybe I can ask why deep inside I hate my father.

And maybe I can tell him that one day I will not follow the fathers footsteps so my son won't have to experience the life that his dad had when he was a young man.

You think things would have been different for me if I have a father?

*I don't know what's it like to have a dad looking after you. Lolz, parang bata.. hayz. That's life. You don't win all your battles!

Image Source

Little Forrest

2010-02-05T05:33:00.002-04:00

Just finished watching Forrest Gump in HBO and even though I have seen the movie a few times in the past it never fails to amaze me still.

It was very inspiring how others have judge him as not normal have experienced great adventures in his life. The world was different through the eyes of Forrest Gump indeed.

“Stupid is as stupid does”, I think we all have to be one sometimes for us to live a full life, may it be through the eyes of Jenny, Lieutenant or Forrest Gump.

I wanna have my own Little Forrest someday and when that time comes i'll make sure to love him and give him the best of both worlds .

"Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."

Just Wondering

2010-02-03T02:33:00.005-04:00

I stumbled upon this article in LA Times that debunks the “5 Second dropped food Rule”.

I remember back when I was a kid because of my clumsiness I always find myself dropping my food or meal on the ground and my tita would then tell me to pick it up wala pa daw 5 minutes.

There were instances that it happened in front of my friends or colleagues that because the food was kind of expensive I was tempted to pick it and eat it as if it never touched the surface.

But then again it was just an attempt (*smiling*) that didn’t happen. (Liar) Hahaha According to the article bacteria will need more time to contaminate the dropped food and guess what instead of the 5 second rule people can wait long up to 30 seconds and more than 30 days I mean seconds for dry.

I wish I should have known this all along para hindi nasayang ung Mars Chocolate Bar na natapon sa elevator, ung Hershys Special Dark Chocolate ng Krispy Kreme na nahulog ko sa sahig kung san nag labor ung pusa naming si Ming-ming..(sigh)

To read the complete article:

A new way to think about the 5-second rule

*Di kaya mamatay ako sa pag popopoo at pagsusuka kapag kinain ko ung mga un.. Just wondering

Ang Paksiw

2010-01-31T23:31:00.000-04:00

Paksiw is one of our favorite Filipino dishes. I like the sabaw when it's hot so I chop 2 or 3 pieces of Sili Labuyo then add the sabaw sa rice, sarap!! The problem is we don't know how to cook it. It's my mom and my aunts in Bohol and Cagayan De Oro who are the experts in making this dish into something extra special. And they're not here, my mom is not here. And my sister is asking me to cook this dish for them or at least guide them how to cook it. Hello disaster!!

Thanks to my ever reliable friend Google I found some online recipes that will make our lunch appetizing without my mom (miss you ermats!) and my aunts (pauwiin nyo na mama ko..)

My sister now has the recipe, it's all up to her to bring the inner chef in her-- Goodluck sana masarap sya, gutom na ako at nagaantay ang Sili Labuyo ko sa fridge! Naiimagine ko na, sarap..

Image source: Paksiw na Bangus

2.08.10

2010-01-28T06:20:00.001-04:00

WARNING: THE BLOG THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ CONTAINS CHEESY, CHEESY & CHEESY STUFF ABOUT MY BEAR. WHO IS BEAR? YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW.. PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS RECOMMENDED

Wow ang bilis ng panahon, in 2 weeks time 3 taon na kami ni bear! Nice! Sa 3 taon ng relasyon namin marami na ako nagawang kasalanan kay bear, marami na kaming pinag awayan, maraming beses ko na siyang pina-iyak, maraming beses ko na syang niloko,pero dyan pa din siya.

Naalala ko pa nun,nilipat ako ng team dahil nagkaroon kami ng conflict ng boss ko, Nagkakilala kami dahil nalaman nya na gusto ko ung song Baby Don't You Break My Heart Slow by Vonda Shepard

Simula nun parate na kami nagkakasabay umuwi, mag lunch, mag break, hanggang sa umabot kami sa ganito. Hindi naging madali ung 3 taon para sa aming dalawa. Ayoko ng kwento ung nakaraan basta may mga pinagdaanan siya at ako na hindi na dapat balikan pa kaya lang ung nakaraan lalo na kapag hindi maganda magpaparamdam at magpaparamdam sau kahit ayaw mo.

Magpapaka cheezy na ako tutal hindi mo naman mababasa eto pero bear Thank You sa 3 Years. Alam ko na hindi ako deserving mahalin pero pinili mong mahalin ako. Nakita ko lahat ng sacrifices na ginawa mo para sa akin, salamat, sana dumating ung time na magawa ko ring mahalin ka tulad ng pagmamahal mo.

Basta tandaan mo pangalawa ka sa pamilya ko..

Happy 3rd Year Anniversary, gagawin ko best ko para maging worthy ako sa pagmamahal mo.

Kaluguran Daka,

Kamote_ako

What do I really want?

2010-01-23T02:58:00.005-04:00

Credits: Dirjournal

I love my self, but I am not happy with what and where I am right now. Sa madaling salita hindi ako kuntento kung ano ako ngaun. I'm referring to different aspects of my life.

My job pays good but I easily get bored and I feel like looking for a better job like working for an advertising company, like being one of those people behind this and that commercial. My pera ba dun? Money is not everything but definitely that is a necessity. May pera ba dun sa industry na un?!
I am grateful for the blessings that I get everyday but I have not achieve my dream yet.

I have yet to experience a fulfillment in my personal and professional career.

While in my physical aspect I can honestly say that I am not physically fit. I don't have the abs of my crush P.P.. All I got is an AB w/o an S. LoL. Kidding aside, I am not happy with my built. For christ sakes Brian your not getting younger any longer. You gotta do something about this. You gotta catch up with 'em.

Sorry that was me doing some pep talk to myself. I better start ASAP!!

The question now is where and when can I start?

Wake Me Up!!

2010-01-22T06:36:00.003-04:00

Wake Me Up!!!

Infatuation

2009-12-28T18:29:00.002-04:00

I think I am, *fuck!* I hate this feeling! I don't know where to begin sorry. It started when this asshole shared his pain about the relationship he is involved right now. I saw the other side of him that no one really knows, and i'm honored.

I don't want to celebrate this feeling but there were times when i'm alone and I would laugh out loud thinking about this person.. fuck, fuck..

I hate this feeling, I don't want this, seriously, I mean I am involved with another person and my relationship with this other person is gravely affected!

I have to stop this madness because I know i'm headed to a dead end road.

Server Error: Great!

2009-11-30T05:17:00.004-04:00

It's 5PM and i'm getting bored staring infront of this LCD screen that's telling me Server not found!! Thinking that it was just a browser I did some troubleshooting steps (Of course I followed MYCSP or AFSS article! LOLX ) I suddenly realized that i'm not supposed to do this, I came here to rest and not to troubleshoot and besides i'm renting this station, they should fix this for me so I asked kuya if internet is down.

Kuya who seemed to care less about his customers was busy doing his own thing! Good work kuya! I only have 2 days of RD and this is my way maximizing my precious time---waiting for nothing!!

Great! Just when i'm excited to update my social networking sites huh. Really great! This is what I don't like about internet cafe's. They charge you per hour regardless whether there's an interruption with the connection or not.

Well, enough of the complaints, obviously connection is up because your reading my blog now. =D

Always On My Mind

2009-11-24T03:54:00.004-04:00

...If I made you feel second best..
bear I'm sorry I was blind...

10 Reasons ng mga Single

2009-11-24T03:38:00.004-04:00

10. Complicated ako maging BF.
-Mahirap daw ako maging BF dahil hindi ako marunong mag compromise. Hindi daw ako transparent.. maybe I am..It's my choice anyway.

Credits: Thanks to Poi for letting me use the pic. Appreciate it poi!

Transparency

2009-11-23T23:38:00.008-04:00

It's been a week since we broke up but it felt like we never really parted ways. I think we just needed some space to rethink whether our relationship is a dead end or something worth saving.

We still text each other though not the usual kind of text where in I am forced to text my status 24/7. I paid him a visit yesterday after work and had breakfast together.

I'm not being transparent to him..,I know i'm not. I blame myself for this. This is my rule of thumb--I want to keep something for myself, I still want to enjoy life without him. I am responsible for my own happiness and I don't rely my happiness to another person. Am I too harsh on this notion?

This is the problem when you get yourself involve in a relationship; you lose a part of yourself, you give up something that you've been holding for the longest time..why? Because you have to compromise? Because you love that person you will let go of it?

Pwede mag mura? T.I naman oh..mahal kita pero di ibig sabhin dedelete ko blog ko babaw naman! Hindi pa kita kilala may blog na ako.., that I can't have a space for myself.. I want to grow still, bata pa ako, may pangarap pa ako..(sigh..)

***
In fact I got a call from him 30 minutes ago and we had the same old fight like what we've been doing over the last 3 years. He doesn't like the fact that I have a life of my own. He wants me to show the other side of me. Other side of me? I can't..I just can't.. This is why I have my blog. That's me. I want to keep something for myself. What's wrong with that? Mali ba ako rito?

He asked me why can't I let him in on this other side of mine? I didn't repond. "Alam mo sana makahanap ka ng mamamahalin mo ng tulad ng pagmamahal ko at gawin nya sau ginagawa mo sa akin.. " He uttered....

Hindi ko naman sinabi na hindi ko sya mahal ah, naguguluhan lang ako, hindi ko alam. magulo isip ko. Sabi niya hindi pa daw ako ready icommit sarili ko..

Line got dc after..

It's Over...

2009-11-20T00:02:00.008-04:00

Excerpt SMS that I received from bear 2 days ago: "You should love the person whose been with you thru the most trying times...Who lied just to make you feel better..Who never stop believing in your weird complicated excuses..Who face the consequences of your wrong doings...Who encourage you to stand after every downfall..Who manage to be the strongest even in your weakest moment..

Love this person for this person is all you got in your darkest hours..."

The 3 years affair has finally come to an end and there's no one to blame but me. I admit I have not been honest to you...I admit I have not been satisfied to your love...I was never contented with your love alone so I have done things that you could never imagine...I have given every excuses to screw you up yet you were there still holding on hoping that one day I will be all yours.

I saw you hurt inside and out..I saw you cry inside and out but what's sad is I saw how hard you tried to save me from falling out of this affair yet I was so blind not to see it. And now we're over.

I don't wanna cry but as days pass by i'm feeling your void. I don't deserve you is what I tell myself. If there's one thing I know about myself that is I will never change and I know I will only destroy you in the end..

I love you...goodbye bear

Fixed Marriage:Mom are you serious?

2009-11-09T14:13:00.005-04:00

"Anak 28 years old lang sya at naghahanap ng asawa, may maayos na trabaho sa Canada at uuwi sya dito sa 2010.."

At 26 I never expected that I would be entangled in this kind of situation. Little did I know that my loving mom is being convinced by her sister to hook me up and fix my marriage to a single/rich/distant relative who resides in Canada...and they plan to do it in 2010!

"Ano ka ba? Bat ko gagawin un?" (laughs)

I thought it was just a mere joke but it wasn't. I felt how she wanted me to get out of the nonconforming relationship that I currently am involve with.

"Eto kausapin mo tita mo sa phone kwento nya sau, distant relative namin eto stable na ung life nya sa Canada at gusto nya ng mabait na asawa, basta makipag communicate ka lang sa knya at pag ok na pupunta na sya dito para process papers mo.."

I got choke not because of the sinigang na baboy that I was eating for lunch but by her serious disposition regarding that "fixed marriage".

"Cge na anak, para maka-alis na rin tau dito, gusto ko makarating ng Canada.."

I'm not upset with my mom. I don't blame her for wanting to get out and look for greener pasture in fact I felt like I failed to give her a luxurious life that she wanted for us. I'm sorry mom I failed you.

"Andami nagkakagusto sau babae anak.. bakit ba kc dyan ka sa katulad mo..."

I was dumbstruck for 60 seconds after hearing those remarks from my mom and then continued pretending that I was still enjoying hot soup of the sinigang na baboy. I guess i'm hurt because I realized that she will never accept me to be with someone of the same gender and that there is still little hope on her part that I will have a change of direction and take the "right" route.

"Yung ibang pinsan ko na lang, ayoko!!!" Then went straight to my room and rested my mind and body..

2 things why mom agreed to this arrangement with her sister:

1>She wanted a new life for me because she cannot believe or accept the fact that I am not what she thinks and what my father thinks I am or will be. What I am, no one knows only them- my mom and my sisters..Not even the maternal and paternal relatives...not even my father.

2>She's getting old and she's sick and tired of a simple life in Manila. She wants to experience a life outside the country, or she simply wants to be filthy rich. Napagod na cguro sa kakataya sa lotto wala namang nangyayari. (Why am I feeling a little angst while writing this part..huh?)

As i'm writing this blog I felt a pinched in my aorta. May it be the former or the latter I will not dwell into the pain of rejection. If the reason is the latter then at least I have something that will push me to work "very hardest" to give her a good life..a luxurious life.

If it's the former then I rest my case. I can't defend myself, why is that? I want to defend myself without sounding guilty. I don't hold my future I know, I always tell this to myself but today will have a big impact in my tomorrow.

What's my next step then?

'Ally McBeal' Reunited

2009-11-02T19:21:00.003-04:00

Oh My, Oh My.. I can't believe that after 12 years I will see them all together on TV! Damn! I remember the good old days, how it change my outlook in life, love and sex! lolz..my addiction to 'Ally McBeal' Is Back !!

Barely Breathing

2009-11-02T16:47:00.003-04:00

It was her last day with the company..last day with us. I thought the good times were over but for the very last time we decided to extend the good bye's by exercising our vocal chords!

Not that she's dying or something.. /Why did I even mention this../It's just that all of us have been very attached to her. She's been a friend, an ate, and a nurse to me when I got sick during our Team building in Pansol.

I just realized now that she was the only TL who made me say "Yes I will join in our team building.." I remember how bear hated me and how he cursed me because I always join with them may it be a simple breakfast buffet at H&E, a drinking session at Guilly's or an out of town trip to Pansol.

Bear hated me of how I give special attention /please don't get me wrong here!/ to the team..to her..

Well, going back, since all of us were in denial that we're happy and in the mood for some feel good songs we went to the nearest Karaoke place in the metro-- Top Grille in Jupiter.

The ambiance was ok, /Ok by definition masikip and mainit/ though we noticed that the receptionist were transexuals. Not that I mind, I don't. Didn't really care about the place. All I wanted was to "grab a bottle of bear for my throat.." /Yeah, who am I kidding!/

So we were all singing, each of us had our share of MAGWALA-KA-NA-PARANG-WALANG-BUKAS theme. Photo opportunity for one last time and not to mention the sisig plate that they served which tasted like a paste. Ahh awful! This is just my opinion! It really tasted like a paste! Good thing my guilty pleasure was present -- Ice cold San Mig light! /Damn! tagal din ako walang beer!!Puro work-work!! Sarap!/

The fun lasted for 3 hours, Louise and the rest of the guys were still singing Barely Breathing when the receptionist came in and said game over.. I felt a sudden pain inside like I can't find the air... Sadness. I wish things would have been different. Things happen for a reason..

By the way, after that Karaoke session, we now have suspicion that Oli is "IT" after doing his own version of Poker face . We don't need any confirmation from him but we would really appreciate if he confirms "it"!! LMAO

Empty Sack

2009-10-24T05:39:00.006-04:00

|Are you OK now?...What-- you still have that colds that you've been whining last month?..Go to a doctor and have yourself check..|

It's a weekend and instead of going out for some fun and adventure I decided to stay home and rest because my colds is very much in love with me that we've been together straight for a month now. This is a major pain in the ass!

Arrghh, Imagine the agony I had to do in front of the Filipino people to present myself without sounding nose-less, I had to excuse myself to grab 10 sheets of tissues for my nose-blowing plus the fact that people around me were starting to notice the melodies that I was humming while blowing my sensitive nose. Very annoying!

Thinking that I needed a break, I decided to file for a 3 day vacation and rested inside my tiny but nice sanctuary hoping that things will be different when I get back to work. I have sucked everything =D (not that one!!) that I need to take but still it won't stop dripping inside my clogged nostrils. I know, I know, eww.. but that's what i'm going through..so please excuse me if your reading this blog of mine while your forking your spaghetti into your mouth..

I remember few years ago I had the same issue with my nose, the doctor prescribed Salinase Nasal Drop and if I remember it correctly it healed my clogged/runny nose so i'm taking this med as my last option. God I hope this heals my colds! It's affecting my work--can't think straight and I felt like an empty sack especially after I came from a long vacation---I mean literally and psychologically it was like my mind was empty.

As of this time I still have a crusty and stuffy nostrils. And to lessen the boredom i'm keeping myself busy by writing this blog and listening to my playlist.

-end-

She

2009-10-19T23:07:00.010-04:00

I still remember the very first time I laid eyes on you. I was in a hurry to get back to my station because I was almost on over lunch but my former TL blocked my way in to introduce me to you.. "She will be your new TL.." and I said "Hi nice to meet you new TL.."

At the time that she came in I was in a state of desperation for bigger challenges mainly because I was aiming for something higher but I was never given enough attention so to speak so hoping that things will be different in accordance to her perspective the way I saw it I approached her and expressed my plans.

That was the start of a great friendship for both of us. She took her precious time for me and guided me in making my dreams possible. Since then everything else fell into it's right place. I remember everything, the good ones and the band ones and the more complicated ones..

I'm not a stalker ok? I may have felt something beyond emotion but because you are someone special to me plus the fact that you are already involved to someone I did not want to destroy the friendship so I decided to live things the way they are. And I think I made the right decision. Though sometimes my mind wanders what if you were not married? What if you don't have a child? What if I tried to tell you? Would things be different today?

I certainly can't tell because I don't hold tomorrow but today has a big impact on my tomorrow. I'm definitely over that feelings and I don't want to go down that road. She's my TL and she has a child and she loves him that's it!

I am sorry for sometimes because i'm pre occupied with my work I failed to appreciate you when the situation calls for it. It has and was never my intention not to appreciate you. But I really do appreciate everything TL. And now that you have decided to leave us indefinetly eventhough it's sad because there will be no more Arlene Doplon that I can confide on my issues at work..there will be no more Arlene Doplon who brings out the best in each one of us. Damn it's really sad that is why I joined the Team Building for the very last time even though bear does not want me to. Because we all want to be with you for the last time..

Nevertheless, We respect your decision and we know it's for your child sake.
I will never forget October 19, 2009.

Thank you TL Arlene Doplon. Thank you for the great memories.

Please don't forget to sign up on Facebook. =D We will really miss you Dopey!

Missed Call

2009-10-17T04:36:00.004-04:00

It's his 13th missed call and my phone still keeps on ringing and I pretend as if nothing is happening while i'm updating my Facebook and Twitter account. But why? Why do I not want to talk or even see him? Am I so fed up of the relationship? Is this my own way of getting out of a 3 year relationship?

I suddenly remembered everything with "kamote". It's as if I had a Deja-Vu of how it was back then when I got fed up of the relationship and the asphyxiation.. Of how it ended with mistreatment.

I think i'm beginning to understand myself now when it comes to relationship. I easily get bored no matter how strong my emotions are.. and I think this happens to everyone. Sometimes you just need to be alone and hide away from the people bugging you..

Please don't get me wrong "bear" is a nice person and a very loving person even. I have no qualms in how he takes care of me. It's really me that is the problem. It's even more complicated because I don't know how to fix it. I admit to that I am no good example of a lover to "Bear".I love "Bear" if that is the question but I noticed this past few months I have been buried to work that I exerted no effort in giving him attention.

I've been ignoring him for the most part but that did not stop him from communicating through all possible means. I know I have been unfair with him all throughout this 3 years. I have done a lot of things that made him cry but at the end of the day it's still his love that captured me.
We're supposed to go out today but i'm MIA.

For what it's worth, I just want sometime for myself. I'm not asking for a way out of the relationship. But if that's the only way for him to have a peace of mind then so be it.

Blog

2009-10-17T04:07:00.004-04:00

Apat na taon na akong nagboblog at inaamin ko na nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na nawalan ako ng gana, marahil napagod ako sa kakakuwento ng buhay ko na hindi ko alam kung may interesadong makaalam at sa apat na taong un puro Ingles ang lenguahe ang ginagamit ko sa aking pagsusulat, mahirap minsan inaamin ko, hindi naman kc ako perpekto sa lenguaheng eto pero masarap ang pakiramdam ko tuwing naisusulat ko ang mga saloobin ko.

Naalala ko kahit dilat na ang mga mata ko sa nagdaang dalawampu't apat na oras cge lang, sulat pa rin ako, maipost ko lang sa blog ko. kahit nga nasa kalagitnaan ako ng Team Meeting cge lang sulat pa din, nakakantyawan tuloy ako ng mga kasamahan ko sa trabaho na parang baliw.

Masaya ako tuwing nakakapagsulat ako, walang problema sa akin kung ano man ang isipin ng ibang tao, kahit mali grammar ko, wala namang perpekto eh, dun nga ako natutoto.

Nagaalala lang ako kc nitong mga nagdaang buwan marahil sa sobrang busy sa trabaho nakalimot na ako magsulat at magpost sa blog ko. Biglang nawala ung hilig ko, eh dito dapat ako masaya bakit napabayaan ko na. Mali..Mali..hindi dapat ganun!

Kailangan kong balikan eto dahil ito ang nakapagpapasaya sa akin. Magsusulat na ulit ako, at sisimulan ko ngaun.

Oops. 11:56 PM na, apat na minuto bago ako magsimula makipag usap sa mga forendyer, log out na ako, baka ma-late pa ako! Ciao!

**Why did I not post this blog? Found this piece of draft on my other blogsite that I never got to share.

Diversity

2009-10-12T23:03:00.005-04:00

My Tuesday shift wasn't so bad as I thought it would be, well I was thinking that since i'm still adjusting with my 9pm to 6am schedule even though its been a week that I had this sched, I would be expecting less-- less productivity-- less positive results with my job but guess what it turned out otherwise.

My deliverables went well, had a coaching with 1 agent but what I like the most was I got invited to have a breakfast with the Team at Tapa King Makati branch for free. (Sarap talaga pag libre!) I had Tapa King for myself. Sarap naman..

Honestly, It was the first that I really spent sometime with the Team that we did not talk about metrics, stats and all that crap inside the workplace so I was a bit timid with my approach to all of them, good thing they were accommodating and really fun to be with.

I realized that the team itself is diversified, they have different personalities that makes them unique amongst each other. They love to play around, well the other side of the table were the guys addicted to their PSP's while on the other side were those laugh trip people like Elaine, TL, Percy, Chiz and Grace-- This girl is really a joker! lalag-lag talaga panga mo sa katatawa kapag nag salita na sya, lalo na pag duet sila ni Elaine!

It's really a pleasure working with this team.

Putting Things In Perspective

2009-10-11T11:16:00.001-04:00

Greetings Earthlings! LOL. It's been a while since I visited my blogger account. I dearly missed those times when I had to blog everything that was going on in my life..even the little things..

Whatever happened to that passion of mine in writing huh? I guess there has been a change of priorities that's why I decided to put-off things for awhile.

But good news, Now that I have achieved part of my goal I think it's about time that I get back on track and start writing things again. Besides, it helps me gain perspective and realization when I write things.

I have a lot of things in my head I just wish I could manage to do all of them spontaneously. I'm sure I will. Just need to choose my battles and take things one at a time. I don't know if I will have all the time that I need because I don't hold my future but I will make sure to make every moment and every second count.

Lost in the Blog World

2009-04-29T04:50:00.001-04:00

Not in the mood to write about something in all honesty. I went online because I want to kill not myself but the time because I can't sleep.
I want to make sure that when I lay down I will do nothing but close my eyes.

I think I can do that..

I noticed that I have 3 blog accounts--Friendster, Imeem & Blogger. Not that I don't like it--I am getting minor headaches because I always end up thinking where to post my blog and since I have some of my friends in friendster often I end up posting it here. Which is not really big deal for me it's just that what's gonna happen with my Imeem blog & Blogger now? I started blogging as early as 2004 and it was blogger who taught me about blogging..I miss posting my blog in blogger. Bugger!@#$

So for a change I will post this blog to all of my accounts! Yey!

An Angel

2009-04-17T03:00:00.002-04:00

Earlier this afternoon while I was working my ass off to the company that I work for I received a text from my mother saying that Angel Locsin and et.al were in the neighborhood --literally staying at our neighbors new house which is infront of ours---filming "Only You" local version of the same title originally filmed in Korea & Italy.

So after my shift I went home immediately and bought 2 pairs of Kodak Battery for my digi-cam and when I got home I made sure that my digi-cam has a memory card plugged inside and of course brought the 2 magazines that I have in my closet where she's the cover girl! When I reached the street where I live I noticed alot of people especially kids staring at this one house like a heaven, as if they were waiting for an Angel who will guide them through paradise, some of them holding their own pens,pictures of an Angel and some brought with them their camera phones--And indeed it was an Angel that I saw. A beautiful angel.

I'm wordless..can't think of the perfect words to describe her. You can probably tell by now that I am a big fan of this gorgeous lady, I bought the magazines where she's the cover girl except for one which was ROGUE because they ran out a copy of it and I even watched her last movie. And I must say for a typical Filipino movie it was something. I enjoyed it.Never missing a chance to stare at my Angel all I did when I got home was stand in our open porch and stare at her kissing children asking for her attention & signing some autographs on peoples shirts. But what I enjoyed the most was her moment with her pooch while she was in her room.

The window in her room was slightly open and since i'm at the 2nd floor of the building I was very lucky to see her different side..her love for her pet. For a moment I wish I was her pooch so I would feel her lips and her tight hug. (sigh) I got so excited to think that I won't have to go some place else to have a picture taken with Angel Locsin only to find out that I don't have the balls to come close and ask for a picture. Fuc&* Sh*t! Come on Brian! Aside from having no balls to come closer to her was that I am embarassed because I was wearing a shirt that was in a deplorable condition and feared that she might not like the presence I decided to just go to sleep and pursue my actions as soon as I get enough rest. 2:30 AM I woke up with my saliva flowing in my couched like a drip of water I instantly rushed to the bathroom to take a bath and fixed myself and made sure that I was in good presence once she sees me. But when I reached ground floor I realized that it was just a waste of time because my Angel just left home, crap! I said.

Badtrip naman! Gusto ko lang ng picture kasama siya eh, ano ba! The old lady who owns the new house infront of ours then said "5 days sila d2, every other day and2 sila..Yun Oh!!" Those words that lola uttered was enough to brightened up my day and give me another chance of taking a photo with my Angel! I ended up the day hungry so I went to 7-11 to buy Spicy Asado Siopao and a bottle of Iced Tea and indulged myself.

False Alarm

2008-09-12T01:22:00.001-04:00

Everybody else were busy taking in calls yesterday and so am I but is it just me or i'm just fuckin' serious with my job that I didn't noticed that my phone was missing. Last time I check I placed it inside my Puma bag made in V-Mall before the start of my shift and then came my lunch I went to the john to pee when I checked my bag to SMSed bear that it's my lunch "what the fuck..." where is my phone??

So I rushed to the production and checked my clear books--yeah, I did that, hoping that I just accidentally put it in there..I even checked my bag, asked my collegues if they were just playing on me..sad to say none of them have my phone.(sigh)

Well,my phone is pretty simple,it's not the type of phone that will cost me a piece of coffin. I felt sad because it was given to me by 'bear', and what will happen now that my phone is gone, how can I post those pictures in my friendster. hehehe

Worried that bear might think that I turned off the phone, I phoned him informing of what happened, he was upset because that was our only means of communication at this point.

Shit happens like I always tell myself but it doesn't mean that life stops there..(drama naman n2...)So I was contemplating during my last break thinking of things that might help me get over it--I then remembered our trainer in PST sean andaya saying that it's "hOW you react to things around you.." I don't remember the exact words he said but I get the point that there's no point to make a life out of a shit just deal with it and let it go!

So I said to myself, whoever got my phone maybe is in dire need of money. I just hope that I was able to help. Then I was ok.

***Over done

After my shift I went straight to bear's house to check on him and apologized for it was a gift from him.

And he being the kindest person, and nicest partner that he is, didn't bothered and hand me 300 pesos to buy a new sim card for myself..yeah, without a phone..hehehe..well, good thing my mom is using my old school siemens phone I can just borrow it from her until I buy a new phone for myself.

So I came home and spread the bad news to them, at first they thought that I was robbed.They understood, though I felt a bit of a regret from my sister--she badly wants my phone. well..sorry sis..

But just when i'm over and done with that stolen/misplaced/whatever phone of mine something happened while I was taking a nap--my bag vibrated like there's something inside it and to my surprise I saw my phone flashing on the inner skin of my bag--i said to myself- what the f*&^k!! I knew it, the pocket where I placed my phone, there was a hole into it which I didn't noticed. damn..well, Thank God that I didn't lost my phone.

But you know what thinking that I lost my phone drove me crazy,it really scared the hell out of me, I made me think of the times that I was not good to others, karma as they say. I promised to do good unto others na after this mind-blowing experience.

Tedious Week

2008-08-30T22:02:00.002-04:00

I've been quite busy this past week which gave me no time to update my blog. Well, a lot of stuff happened and here's a ran down;

***Tuesday

Gone are the days were we can go on idle. We took our very first call for the program and what can I say experience is the best teacher, reading a script is not enough, I need time before I get it right! There's always a first time,.

***Wednesday

We met our transition trainers Eric and Marissa from Appleton, Wisconsin. They were sent here for support for the new program. BTW, Marissa is a Filipina and a native of Bulacan while Eric is a native and damn he is a hot stuff!!!

It was just unfortunate for our batch because they only had 3 days of their time to work with us, and I believe they already left friday am. Too bad!

Moreover, I had a dream were I was making love with Matt! Ewness, hehehe, I don't know why I had that dream. I don't even remember thinking of him sexually. hmmm

***Thursday

Lack of knowledge in any field you are into is such a big factor that needs to be considered. I say this because most of my calls were about wireless configuration and (sigh) i'm not HN trained and that's a problem. A big one.

The program has no HN department--we are the HN agent/Customer Service/Technical Support. Hope my TL will do something to resolve my dilemma. I've been requesting for this training since I started taking calls for DSL but no update still.

***Update, I guess I owe my Gods and Godesses a BIG THANK YOU because my wish was granted, finally, we had our training for HN, though my eyes weren't satisfied visually,still a big thank you! I guess I have to D.O.M then for me to get ahead. well..

***Friday

I don't know what's gonna happen since my shift starts at 4:00 am, pretty much the same routine I guess, we'll take calls and will learn something new, huh.

I must say the whole week has been tedious both emotionally and physically. With all the loads that I needed to absorb for this new program.. talagang hirap kumita ng pera, hehehe. But it's fun,i'm enjoying every bit of sweat and frustrations I get from it.

Happiness

2008-08-26T13:20:00.000-04:00

**continuation of Holiday post.

If I were to follow my emotions over the weekend alphabetically I would have to start with deception, happiness, and sadness but I opted not to because sadness and deception were quite the crucial part of my weekend so i'm gonna have to start with happiness.

As I said in my previous blog, I guess that was last friday--that I am happy because I was able to spend 11 hours straight to the Internet shop and updated my blogger template and friendster account. Albeit lack of sleep i'm really happy about it.

I don't get tired of writing blogs and updating my FS account. Why? This is my only means of expressing what I feel to the world I live in. This is where I find solace whenever I am wounded from the pains of living my life.

Moreover, I get to holler my agony that no one knew about. Sometimes when I just can't hold on to it I blog it. It helps me in a way. hehehe

Does it really have to be this cheesy? Shoot! I feel like cringing now! Well, this is my blog remember so I can be myself and I care not from any preconceive judgement.

My name is Brian Quim and I am human. ;-)

My Confession

2008-08-26T01:40:00.001-04:00

I have a confession to make. Although this doesn't concern our national security it sure does have an effect on me and to everyone whose reading this blog of mine--DECEPTION.

I have a blog,friendster account,and I have an imeem account...and "bear" doesn't know it! Does this make me a deceitful person?

I've been hiding this to him all this time. Why? I guess part of me still wants a solitary moment where I can be myself, not that I am not being myself when i'm with him, I mean it's different when a person can have a moment for himself than being controlled by someone.

Ok, ok, I am afraid that if ever I tell him about this he will compel me to delete those accounts just like what he did to my other blog that's been around for 5 years, and I don't want that to happen again.

***freedom

Do I really have to give up my freedom to be with him? I love him but I also love my life. What should I do then? In all honesty, I am bewildered as to what to do with my case. He is noticing my frequent excuses and he's been asking me things that I do when i'm not on sight.

In fact there has been a big switch, before when I can't handle the pain that I was getting from him I tried to put an end to our relationship but now it's the other way around, I noticed a couple of times that he's the one initiating to put an end to it.In fact this afternoon when I met with him we had another petty fight and he tried to break up with me..he said he's tired of me, he wants space.

I uttered no! Why I said no even though it was my chance to freedom-- I can't let go of him yet. We've been together for almost 2 years and it's no joke.What 2 years of lies, deception?! masakit sa akin un eh.. (it pains me..) You don't build a foundation in a day,do you? It takes time. But considering the circumstances sorrounding our relationship, the deception, the lies--is our foundation strong enough to move on to something more complicated like marriage?

Or like the rest of the world "We're just holding on to something we both knew that is bound to happen.."

Holiday

2008-08-25T13:11:00.001-04:00

It's a Monday and I don't have a shift,maybe because we already had a holiday pay last August 21st so my employer decided not to give me one. Well, Thank you for the Holidays still for I am paid more than the usual pay that I am getting.

***How was my weekend?

Uhm, I don't really know how to describe my weekend, it was a conjunction of sadness, happiness and deception. I guess that was my overall assessment of how my weekend turned out.

NO SHIT today

2008-08-22T21:53:00.002-04:00

I have a long weekend,and after 2 weeks of training for the change it's gonna happen pretty soon, sooner than we were all expecting.

Let's just say that i'm making the most out of my NO SHIT today, hehehe, once I log out of this pc..damn antok na ako (i'm sleepy).As I was saying next week will be our transition and we'll start taking in calls for the new program. I need to focus this time, this is my only Bread and Butter..I don't know what's gonna happen to me if I fail again.

Enough of work for now, it's time for me to rest my mind, for now most likely, what's gonna happen is i'm gonna take a nap (I need to rest..) and later this evening i'm gonna launder my clothes..

Thank God for the weekends!!!! Thank God it's no shit today!!! hehehe

Nice Template..

2008-08-22T18:49:00.000-04:00

I came home 1:00 in the morning and my mom said something about a robber who tried to sneak inside our house..hmmm, worried about my her safety I decided to fix the windows and made sure that not even the tip of his fingers can reach the door knob inside our house.. gago din un ah, lakas ng loob, (Asshole!, he really had the guts to do such act) considering that it was still 11:30 PM.

**As a preventive measure I fixed the window, and that should stop him from doing his job! tang-ina mahiya ka naman, magbanat ka ng buto!! hehehe..

Although I haven't gotten enough rest yet I decided to finish the food that my mom prepared for me then take a quick bath then went to the nearest internet shop, good thing that this Internet Cafe has fast connection and has Air Conditioning that it enable me to do things that I planned before the week ended.

I'm done sending my THANK-YOU's to my virtual friends in Friendster who added me to their list. yey! Moreover, I was able to change the template of my Blogger so I think this one is much better compared to the other template that i've been using for 2 weeks?!

I'm still updating my blogger up to this moment,and time check it's now 7:30 AM which means i've been staring infront of this PC for almost 6 hours..WOW! Well, that was my planned anyway, so I don't really mind the time, I dont have work until Monday so i'm not gonna restrain myself from doing what I love to do.

Friday Madness

2008-08-22T02:21:00.000-04:00

It's 2:09 AM and while everyone else are fast asleep here I am reviewing for tomorrow's exam.Tomorrow? It's already Friday so i'm reviewing for later's exam.

We will have our knowledge test to see what we have learned on our 2 weeks of training. I am nervous not because I didn't listen to our trainer but the course of discussion was too technical for me,and to be honest I felt like I was on the wrong class and felt that i'm not for this program.

But do I really need to explain to the customer that he's account is in a Wall Garden that's why he cant surf yet??? We have our ways, and I think the customer would appreciate it if I can explain to them those technical stuff in lay-mans term.

It's been a long week for me, by Monday transition starts and that means we will start taking in calls.

**While I was reviewing in my bed I composed myself and cleared my mind with every negative thoughts, doubts that I have about my career. This is my bread and butter I have to live by it otherwise I will end up to be another guy who settled for mediocrity.

Network Outage

2008-08-18T13:23:00.000-04:00

It's a monday and what a good way to start the week by staying inside the training room and do nothing because there's a network outage..great!

What a waste of time! I know it's double pay and were paid anyway so why bother but come on this is not the time for me to go on idle mode..it's a monday! I don't like it coz my mind wanders about stuff which brings me into trouble.

It's past five already and still network is down.

My team mate bought an iPod Touch,he said he bought it for 11K, good for him if that is the case, but i'm not quite sure as to how much the actual price of a brand new iPod touch.

I wish I have enough resources to buy not an iPod touch but an iPhone. I've always wanted to buy an iPhone even when I was still in PST. I even remember making a deal to a friend for an iPhone made in the US for only 8K but it didn't push through for some reason.

Hmm..Let me get in touch with this old friend and we'll see.

We ended up Monday by making a visit to PBCOM to listen to some calls for the account that we will be handling. Everything should get back to normal by tomorrow..I hope.

Gerry's Grill session

2008-08-16T08:00:00.001-04:00

After a hard days of working on our asses' we felt we needed a break and since it's a payday we decided to go out for a drink at Gerry's Grill in Bluewave Mall without TL!

The reason behind that was there were issues that we need to talk about without his presence and of course for me to air out my issues with him that's been going on for quite sometime now.

The place was great,when we arrived at the place it was raining a bit but it didn't stop the people from partying all night..Thanks to the tent that was set up on the middle part of the mall so party went on, alive and kicking!!!

Well, it was sort of a mixture of work and party at the same time, why? Well, yeah we were drinking,but then all throughout the inuman session we were discussing the issues I had with TL, sharing their experiences with him when they were just starting, and me clearing up some things that tl told me when he pulled me out of the training class twice which by the way messed up my learning because I missed a couple of lessons. (sigh) God i'm so glad we were drinking San Mig Light otherwise we would end up discussing Gloria's wicked plan of reviving Cha-cha!

So I told them what really happened, that since I can't stand him treating me like an asshole I raised the issue to the upper management and to HR. They were quite shocked of what I did, I know i'm clever!! (Laughing Out Loud) Greshella, one of my team mates,to her surprised hollered "you exposed karlo's ass to them? I said "yes" with a grim on my face.

If he thinks it's a bygones-no it's not. I allowed him to treat me unkindly, well, while he was treating me that way never did I talk back to him, even once,because I respected him as a supervisor, all I did was defend myself and contemplated about what will happen if I don't defend myself. He might be thinking that i'm just another agent who walks away defeated, hell no!!

Honestly, I was on the verge of giving up and losing the battle if not for bear's support I would not have the strength to fight what is right, he made me decide, since I don't listen, he made me decide and think through it, the consequences of what I will do. So when I finally gathered my thoughts I documented everything that we have talked about, the lies, the threats that I will be terminated, or will not be confirmed, the "don't give me that crap" shit that he said. Everything that I remembered I documented then I phoned the Operations Manager and told him about it, to his dismay he have me wrote an email to him documenting everything so that he can help me solve this unacceptable issue, then I went to HR to their request and spoke to the HR manager about it.

Some of them were shocked by what I did, by now I guess TL already knows that I told my team mates of the action that I have done to rectify my situation-lagot^&^(Laughing Out Loud). Moreover, I was able to clarify things that weren't clear to me and now that it is clear i'm going to move forward pretend like nothing happened.

Whether it is true that they don't want me in the team or not it's really none of my business. We're in a free country therefore one is entitled to their own opinion. We all have our baggage,what's important is I am living my life and I live it crazy! That's what matters.

The drinking session last night was a success, we were the last customers of Gerry's Grill,although I noticed something unacceptable as a customer, ahh they turned off the lights outside where we were seated, well, I guess that is their way of saying that WE-ARE-CLOSED-NOW thing huh,still rude. Although it was raining last night we still enjoyed the session by capturing the moments, we picking up on gresh's age, she's only 21 according to her, (Laughing Out Loud), the San Mig Lights, and my revelation about myself.

Yeah, finally they all know who the fuck I am. Thanks to Greshella who was very eager to break the news, i'm not surprised to their reactions, we all just drink to it!

I ended up drunk dead and puking on the cab,almost. Good thing manong driver was kind enough to stop his cab and let me puked outside the window, he even gave me a piece of rag. :)

Civil war

2008-08-15T02:37:00.002-04:00

3rd day of training and I saw him again, man it just pains me that i'm working side by side with a colleague that I have a grudge with. I'm feeling the agony and believe me I can't fulfill my job properly. I feel the tension for 3 days now.

So to regain the positive aura I used to have I tried to offer peace and told him of what I feel that I can't work like this, I can't focus with my work but he cut me off with a no!.

Sad because he's taking things personally considering that he's my supervisor. At least I tried, he doesn't want peace what should I do now then?

Is this the start of something big for me here in CVG? We'll see..

First day..

2008-08-11T16:40:00.000-04:00

It's the first day of our U-Verse training, and although i'm gonna see the same old faces I don't know what's gonna happen or what will be the environment, I hope that everything will work out fine for all of us.

Inevitable

2008-08-10T13:48:00.000-04:00

This is my last day for ATT DSL which means that the change that i've been blabbing about for the last 2 months is gonna take place on Tuesday afternoon. I feel sad and happy about it at the same time..sad because i'm in the stage where i'm already getting the hang of how the account works and all that stuff of doing some troubleshooting then all of a sudden i'm slap in the face with a FYI that the account is gonna ramp down because we need to give back something that really belongs to the Americans which is I perfectly understand.

But when the news was cascaded to us I admit that I felt a sudden fear, it made me think thoroughly about my future because what will happen to me if say the US government pass a repatriation act demanding all outsourcing companies to pull out their businesses back to the United States? From what I was told that is not going to happen since the cost of labor is quite expensive,but who knows? "The only thing that is inevitable in this world is change." Things might change in what 2 years, 5, or tomorrow! And if ever that happens where will I go? Will I get the same compensation and benefits from the local companies that we have here? I haven't finished college, unfortunately, but because i've always been the type of person who craves for more knowledge I read and read alot, and it helped me developed my communication skills which helps me communicate with different types of customers.

Looking on the bright side, we will be supporting the same name ATT but we will handle the premium account that they have which is somewhat the same from our previous account except that it's like a personalized cable tv with the use of fiber optics (TIVO). I'm excited...I am..for the reason that all of us are back to zero, even the tenured ones, which means that I will have an edge this time, the level of knowledge and understanding will be the same which will give me a chance to go up to the ladder. Hope I make it..

Well, it's my off now,i'm tired, last day was queueing, alot of calls came in as if I was taking calls back when I was still with Capital One. I'm really tired..need to go home, and prepare for tuesdays training.

It's 10:48 AM, 08/10/08. I'm out now!

हैप्पी नोएल

2008-08-06T02:15:00.000-04:00

Yesterday afternoon while I was browsing for some interesting topics to read on the pages of Philippine Star Matt SMSed me confirming whether I will attend noel's birthday party or not and although I know that I still have to launder my clothes I replied with a YES!

I'm not like this, I mean usually whenever people invite me I hardly say yes out of fear that I will not get along with the rest of the world. Their opinions really mattered to me before. But this time it felt different by saying yes. I feel that I am now in control of my life. I may sound crazy now but saying yes meant I live by my words that "I-will-live-my-life".

So I attended the party but Hara and Alex weren't there yet. It was only me and matt who were early birds. While we were waiting for the rest of the CVG guys I had the chance to chat with matt about work and other things. Well, discussing it would spoil the main topic of this blog which is Noel's bday and living my life..lolz, so I will reserve our chat on my next blog but for this blog I must say that I really enjoyed the food, the conversations with matt, hara, alex and the bday boy himself noel.

Moreover, I should say that drinking Generoso mixed with Bear Brand choco was enticing, damn I just loved it! nakakaadik!

After a few shots of Generoso under the pretense of Bear brand choco alex and hara had to bid goodbye to noel considering they arrived late and it hasn't been 3 hours since they seated on their respective couch. SPOILERS! LoLz, I know hara had to go to work that's why. Matt decided to leave as well and since they're all going and i'm the only CVG guy left I decided to bid goodbye again to Generoso,I mean to bday boy Onyo..hehehe

Before we left we made sure that we captured the moments on his digicam so we took pictures. I'm gonna grab those once Onyo posts it. We ended up the night with some balls of steel by going to Convergys tipsy-turvy! Yeah!! Good thing manong guard didn't noticed the rosy faces that matt and I displayed to the agents at the pantry.

When I got home I forgot that I have my used clothes waiting to be launder. (sigh) Hope I get up early so I can still find time to blog and check my friendster..Waaaah adik*%^%^&

Noel aka Onyo, dude Happy Bday! Live your life and live it crazy! tc man!

***You may have known me to be a straight guy but let this be known to you that what I said back in PST about those adventures I had were all hard facts.

Pink Slip 2..

2008-08-04T11:56:00.000-04:00

I just had a word with my TL, i'm one of the 2 contributors for Abseentism Rate for this month with 13.79%..what the!!! It's not even half the month and this is our score..tsk..tsk..I know, I know, the blame is on me..I blame myself..If I hadn't become too confident our team wouldn't be in this unacceptable position.

**I'm sorry guys

As if sorry will change things.While we had a pep talk, tl said right to my face that if I continue the kind of attitude i'm showing at work especially with my attendance I will end up either to another industry or I will always be the same guy that I am.. A Call Center hopper...I then noticed there were tears welling up in my eyes, but I managed to hold it to prove him that I am not the guy that he told me I was.

**Cold truth

Truth hurts huh..I have always been like this, I have the skills but the spontaneity I lack. I hope I learn from this experience. One step at a time brian..you're getting there..patience is a virtue as what you always tell others..apply it to thyself then man!!!. Love yourself.. hehehe.. I do..I do.
I do...that's why i'm taking responsibility for the actions that I made.

You Only Die Once Brian. Live life!! hehehe.. (sobbing)

pink slip?!

2008-08-04T10:15:00.000-04:00

I'm not certain whether I can look into my tl eye to eye after I was absent for 2 days where in I was NCNS on the 2nd day..What can I do my asthma is up and running again, damn this weather..damn me for being not so careful with the foods that I eat.. (sigh...)

I just saw my TL, and I don't know how to explain myside, I should have called the 2nd night...but..I would have called him or our office if I had the means to do so...but it was really just unfortunate that aside from the heavy rain I can't go out and call our office.

I just spoke with him, he was upset,I admitted my mistake, I said i'm willing to take the sanction for what I did, later I will sign a letter..I guess I have to get myself ready for the pink slip.

Goodbye Scoffield

2008-07-30T14:02:00.000-04:00

After 3 months of being with us the family decided to let go of Scoffield, our 4 month-old Labrador Retriever. It was the hardest thing to do for all of us. Letting go after all the attention, love and the expenses that we put to that puppy.

We came to a point that although he's on the right family because of the substantial love he's been getting the place is not enough for him. We realized that he needs to be in a place where he can play around and poop freely without causing discomfort to all of us. Considering the current state of our economy, the money that I have is just enough to provide food for the table, and moving to a place bigger for him to run around and settle may take awhile to happen.

So albeit it pains me, especially for my mom and my 2 sister, I hand him over to Bear. It was too painful that they didn't bother watching us leave the house..

I went to bear's house yesterday to check if Scoffield was settled and I think he is. Bear's family liked him, they even brought the puppy outside their house for a walk. Meanwhile, it's been a week since he's gone and we still feel the void and once in awhile my tongue unintentionally utters the name scoffield hoping that he will come and play with us.

Goodbye Scoffield. We will miss you!

I Love u Bear..

2008-07-30T13:16:00.000-04:00

It's 3:04 AM and thank God i'm not late and still waiting for a call, while I do so my mind wanders of what happened for the past 36 hours. Bear and I went out, and celebrated his birthday, there were petty fights like we always do, but I didn't mind. I love the person. Albeit, there are times that I want to give up on him because I hate the way he complains about my attitude, about me being sarcastic about everything, about him..at the end of the day, I just can't.. I enjoy every moment I'm with him.I Love Jem.

Though I noticed he became more emotional lately, I was like that few months ago, when I lost my job, now there's a sudden twist, I became the passive, cold, that he was before, and now he's the emotional, and dependent person that I was..He kept on saying that Im not the same Me anymore, maybe I think differently now, I became more mature, and independent of him. I guess i've learn to Love myself now more than ever. Part of the change that I embraced.

Nevertheless, i'm glad that i've spent my long vacation with him. I planned it and I made it happen for him. I Love him.. Happy Birthday Jem..

Another shit..

2008-07-19T02:40:00.000-04:00

My manager called my attention awhile ago, thinking that I will be coach but no..I got reprimanded but this time he was really frustrated because I was overbreak again for the nth time. It's just for 2 minutes though but still I know that whether it's 2 minutes or 1 minute overbreak i'm still overbreak which is tantamount to tardiness and besides this is not the first time that he called my attention about this overbreak situation.

I admit, there was a negligence in following the scheduled breaks, I know..I know it's not an excuse that i'm not good at math! It's funny I know, i'm not really good at mathematics that's why I end up being over break or over lunch most of the time.

When am I going to learn from my tardiness.... (sigh) Focus..Focus..I need to love myself as what abbie told me.. I end up writing a committment letter that this will be the last time that I will be on overbreak, the next instance this happen I gave him the right to suspend me.

Well, what can I say shit happens!

Take a pic..

2008-07-17T03:17:00.000-04:00

Another day at my work..it's avail though, 30 minutes avail, I wonder why? I shouldn't..I shouldn't, this is all part of the change that is about to happen in the workplace.

Enough of the change stuff, it's already way overrated..hehehe.Moving forward, I only had 3 hours of sleep and i'm feeling so so drained at this very moment. I don't blame others but myself why? Instead of taking advantage of the rainy season by sleeping my way to bed I was infront of the pc station uploading some pictures..pictures of my dog and my pics to my friendster and Imeem.

I may seem addicted which I am..by the way,I really planned this for quite some time now, but because of my restrained schedule I never had an opportunity to do it until this afternoon.

I am really updating this two social networking sites, I guess the reason would be I don't want to be left alone, I want to meet new friends from all walks of life, around the globe.. how's that! (wink)

So albeit I only had 3 hours of rest no biggy, looking on the bright side, with the pics that I uploaded surely it'll give more personality to my profile.

cry emo..

2008-07-16T01:24:00.000-04:00

I read this blog entitled cRy eMo and its really poignant. Guy was so in love with this person that he wanted to end his life all because of the pain that she had given him..I feel this guy..I felt what he's going through, its not easy for someone to accept that the love of his life, the reason for his living is the one who will break his heart and life in the end..

Whatever he's going through its really painful, and I know that no words can detract the pain that he's going through..let me share you some lines that he wrote.. " You made me put the gun to my head because all I ever wanted was to feel loved and to be held..

I feel you dude..